Ex-pat Newlyweds

This is the hardest part of being here.

Josh’s Oma passed away on Wednesday. There is little else but cliches now. You go through the motions of hearing the news and passing it on in a haze of grief. We say our good byes, recite our memories and shed tears. For Josh and I, we can only do it together, because that’s all we have here.

When I first met the Devins family, I met all of them. It was an on-slought of Devinses, and van Hartes. It was overwhelming. Josh is close to his family and I may have been the first girlfriend brought before them and they may be small, but loud and not to be underestimated. The first dinner I had at their house was Chicken Mirabella with fresh pineapple for dessert and Oma ate her’s with Kecap — Indonesian sweet soy sauce.

It wasn’t long after that when I was introduced to Indonesian food. Thanks to Sate Satu (people! eat there!), I was in love — with the food that is. Josh was introduced to Indonesian food through his grandparents, who grew up in Indonesia, only to move back to Holland when the country gained independence.

Food defines most of my relationships with the people we know. The rituals we have, all revolve around eating. When people get together, it’s always under the pretense of food/drinks and never just a good conversation and quality time. Over the years, my relationship with Oma came to be defined by the muffins that tagged along on every visit, and I loved that she would open the bag right away and test one while they were still fresh. My memories with her are over Thai and Indonesian dinners, and that first one of pineapple and kecap.

We’ll miss Oma and being far away, it’s easy to be sad but harder to face reality. When we go back and visit, see that she’s not there, it will be a second round of grief, but at least we’ll be with family.

Love and miss you all.