Ex-pat Newlyweds

It’s Saturday morning, not even noon yet. In front of the famous 13th century gothic cathedral that dominate Cologne’s skyline is a trailer crowded with people. The trailer sells beer. The crowd around it is an assortment of cowboys, soldiers, clowns, two ampelmännchen and a tom cat.

Shortly after 12, two ampelmännchen and a cat get on the S-Bahn to Wahn. As the train goes through the outskirts of the city centre, more people in costume get on. A group of girls in various “slutty-something” dress get on with some male-hanger-ons. A 40-something couple gets on in suits… Bunny suits that is. I want to cuddle them.

It was Carnival and while Dominic didn’t believe me that costumes are a vital part of the process, he knows better now (hence, he left his cortume up to me… see photo below). We arrived Friday night and spent a couple hours exposing Dom to the famous Üt — a local pub in Zündorf that envelopes you in a cloud of smoke and most people know who I am based on the company I keep.

Saturday was the parade in Wahn — that’s why everyone was going on Saturday morning but really it was one of many parades that people could have gone to on that day. We chose Wahn because we knew who was going to be there: Andrew. It was a reunion and a half that led from the parade, to the pub to a party at a carwash. Andrew, his business partner Krister and their friend in Ensen, Michael, had tickets. We didn’t need tickets — the party was at the carwash my uncle owns.

While the parade paled in comparison to the big one in Cologne on Monday, we learned some valuable skills for catching candy at the Wahn parade.

Sunday was a day of recovery. We went to another parade in Porz and met up with more friends. There was more alcohol involved, which, incredibly, we were able to keep down despite Saturday’s indulgence, and after waffles at my Oma’s house, we took Dom to the airport. That night, we spent at my friend Werner’s house, in his family’s party room drinking Kölsch and singing the anthems of Carnival (a few of you may remember singing two of those at our wedding? — for the rest of you, I included a video below).

Monday was the big day: Rosenmontag. We went into Cologne to watch the big parade with my Oma Haller.
While some Carnival purists insist that this parade is largely for tourists, we figured we walked the line on that one and we should go. This is where the big floats were — political satire abounded with floats that reflected the state of economy, the year of elections ahead for Germans and Kölsch traditions with “Funken” (guards of the city state) of every colour riding through streets normally reserved for pedestrian traffic only. Kids waited on the side of the street to catch the Kamellen, leaving at the end of the day with pillowcases full. Women waited for men to come by with flowers, for which they get kisses for if handed to personally.

We left Rosenmontag with two hours of the parade left to go. We had a flight to catch, but by no means did we leave empty handed.